Fun with a Gun in the Sun

Building a squad happens both inside and outside the pitch boundary. No match this week so what better way to forge team unity than arming sixteen 10 year olds to the teeth and setting ‘em loose in the woods. Divided into 2 teams, various war games were played out in picturesque woodland on a 3,000 acre estate with assorted parents thrown in for target practise and Nursie standing by. Disappointingly there was only one ‘Pink Para’ on the day, Geordi’s mum Sarah was leaping out of trees arcing bullets as she went…quite something to watch. Hopefully we can recruit some more ‘Mums with Guns’ for next time – prize for the best Lara Croft outfit.

Impossible to capture all the action in a few paragraphs, so the following provides just a sense of what went on.

Tim ‘Bomber’ Aris arrived impressively dressed top to toe in camouflage gear BEFORE the camo kit was handed out, this raised more eyebrows than taking one’s own pool cue up the local. Ringer one identified. Then Tom Davis revealed an intricate working knowledge of the terrain, ringer number 2. Outside of these two however everyone’s paint experience was limited to playgroup or skirting boards.

Scott Witheford – easy to hit, George Witheford – difficult to hit, Jack Witheford – diving down rabbit holes and hiding behind mushrooms was impossible to shoot. JSD was on permanent rapid fire which tells you something about Sedgeberrow, Will (Mighty) Mullen took Indie’s dad hostage without a shot fired and Scott Davis copped a few inbound rounds where the sun don’t shine. Welsh regiments were represented by the Stones and the Mullens, sadly insufficient numbers to recreate the Norman Invasion of Wales in 1067 but easy to locate as you couldn’t stop them belting out ‘Delilah’ amongst the trees.

Clearly identified as the responsible adult (you have to respect a man with a notebook) JB was appointed Head of Combat Vision Systems. So as I stood with my squirty bottle and bog roll scrubbing paint off helmet visors it became clear that the ‘no head shot rule’ was adhered to just as well as ‘no more than ball carrier plus 2 in a ruck’.

There were victories, defeats, hits and misses, lots of exercise and then sausage and beans – show me a more rugged, bloke-ish and wholesome way to spend a morning outside a rugby pitch. There will have been a few bruises the next morning, happy to take your word for it Scott Davis, no photos thanks.

Thanks to Pete at Cotswold Paintballing for sponsoring the tour hoodies and providing a fantastic morning for the lads on Sunday, a great experience that they all enjoyed enormously. Judging by the smiles throughout I suspect we will be back. Soon