Arctic Blast in Alcester

We passed countless shopping opportunities (including Evesham Country Park three times trying to get out of town) on Sunday bound for Alcester where it was 2 coats colder than Evesham, an excuse for a new coat if ever there was. After just 5 attempts to make one car fit into 3 spaces we sent the boys through the hedge for a warm up whilst we headed towards the tea urn with an experienced eye.

Tea: Builders
Coffee: Could be
Cup: China mug, and a tray – we approve
Milk: Semi skimmed, 4 pint
Sugar: white bowl, single spoon
Bacon: Smoked, catering pack on electric griddle (Lincat Lynx 400 with the built in drainage drawer)
Bread: Long life roll
Sauce: Choice of Ketchup or Brown

First Half

Ohhh Pimms headache, never drinking with Jilly again, #jugsoutatthepub. Right, better get on with this report, I only have an eyeliner and a ‘bag for life’, anyone got a pen and paper ?

In the pushy group-hug thing: Jilly’s Giant, Indie, Big Olly Neal, That lovely Tom Merrall (captain), Swing Lowe and JB’s lumpy kid, Phil is it ?. Behind the group hug were Mrs Aris’ lad, Jamie from the football, our glistening county pairing of Wycherley and Cross, flying up the right edge was Fin, left edge Joel and at the back James. Fresh legs ready and willing were Olly Smith, George Tinson, Tom Davis, Rhino (with a hurty leg), Cake (with a hurty toe), Serge of France, that little Welsh lad (Mullen), Rocky making a welcome return, Smiffy, Slate also making a welcome return and Ears Pearce. With three Welsh lads on the bench we had better get them on quick before they start singing, digging or fighting.

10:37 – Smiffy drops the orange segments all over the grass
10:40 - Kick off – Wycherley break onto Phil Brett and over for try 1
10:41 - Facebook Update – ‘In Alcester at the rugby, lol’
10:43 – Evesham win a scrum against the head, Jamie to Wycherley to Phil to Fin and plenty of gas to score in the right corner – try 2
10:44 - Fag (Jilly)
10:45 – The boys swarming on the left side and Max over – try 3
10:51 – Selfie, pout, post that later
10:52 – CCR: Rosie brings the MAMIIT’s (Middle Aged Men In Identical Tops) a coffee each, they seem to like that bless them….well, it gets them out
10:53 – Evesham turn over scrum, very powerful, Jamie onto Wycherley onto Cross and no-one was going to catch him without a moped – try 4
10:54 – Will (Swing) Lowe running head down like a one man prison break and over – try 5
10:55 – Jamie, onto Cross onto that lovely Tom Merrall and over – try 6
10:56 – Fag (Jilly)
10:57 - Twitter update – ‘writing a match report wiv ma BAEs’
10:58 – Good break by Indie, entire back line move the ball left to Joel on the left wing and over – try 7
10:59 – Fag (Jilly)
11:00 – Wycherley steal in contact onto Phil onto Jamie and over – try 8
11:02 – Own scrum won, Jamie to Hamish to James – try 9
11:03 – Fag (Jilly)
11:04 – Evesham penalty in own half, kick chased, Wycherley collects on left touchline and scores (eventually) by the right touchline – try 10
11:05 – Hamish break then a signature RH backhand offload to James and over – try 11

Half Time
Fag (Jilly)
11:06 – Half time oranges, just spit out the bits of grass lads
11:07 – Post Selfie to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat

Second Half

11:15 – new line up. Tom Davis, Olly Smith, George Tinson, that lovely Tom Merrall, Swing Lowe and Phil Brett. Mullen, Rocky, Smiffy, Serge, right edge Fin, left edge Ears and at the back Slate. Ryan’s leg deemed beyond repair today, best to rest.
11:16 – Break by Rocky, James held up on the line
11:16:30 – Fag (Jilly)
11:17 – Rocky try off Serge to Smiffy to Lowe – good hands – try 12
11:18 – Jilly is on Tinder now – eeewwwwww, dang, left, left, left, oh I know him, left
11:20 – Ball out to Phil with 2 to beat, amusing Riverdance thing where a sidestep would do, hope we never see that again and over - try 13
11:21 – Whatsapp check while Jilly sparks one up – ‘ROFLMAO – have you noticed that JB looks like Peter Griffin’
11:22 – Mullen knock on, right on the line, he’s Welsh alright
11:23 – Tom Stone break down the left hand side onto Smiffy handing off as he goes – try 14
11:24 – Lowe try off a Rocky break – try 15
11:25 – The smoke has cleared, Jilly has popped up the newsagents
11:26 – Mullen carry gets a penalty, short pop to Phil and a Lowe-esque ram-raid over the line – try 16
11:31 – Rocky to Tom Merrall, to Rocky again to Smiffy to Tom Stone and over – try 17 – best try of the game. Everyone has had enough

Final Score: How many points is it for a try ? We touched down 17 times so let’s see…..8 fl oz in a cup, 30min/lb plus 30 min @ 180, fabric length is window drop plus one pattern repeat plus 2x15cm returns so…...

Huge thanks to Alcester for hosting and ignoring the scoreboard to play every minute like it was the first. Thanks also to Kyran for refereeing.

Guest presenter for the awards today was Rio Cochrane, they don’t make ‘em any cuter. Reee-oh, Reee-oh

Aimees Award for the most impressive tackle: Smiffy for tracking back and making a stop with one hand in the second half
Man of the Match: Making a return after significant time away, and playing like he has not missed a session - Rocky

Kit Wash Volunteer: The Fragrant Mrs Aris, looking years younger in a new Kate Silverton cut

Don’t forget rugby mums night out, 2nd Dec (Britney Spears birthday, so get your outfits ready)

Love
The Rugby Mums
x
ps. we will do another one next year